Friends

In a desperate effort to not forget about livejournal, I'm postan. C:

Still haven't felt artsy lately, and Ichibancon is coming up soon! Worry! D: oohsupercilious and I had a Sculpey party last week, and I can't wait til the next one! I just get really distracted when I make things. I need to buckle down and just DO IT.

Still playing Tekken. Didn't really think my fascination with it would last this long, but it has. A few people have told me they see me improving, and that helps me want to keep playing! I like when people are supportive of me. It really helps keep me on track.

In other news, I need to make a sincere e-apology to oohsupercilious. I owe you so much art. But there's a reason that you haven't gotten it! I don't even know if you'll read this, but I feel really bad every time I think about bringing it up face to face, so at the very least, I can direct you to this, haha.

I've done lots of art for you. Most of it is unfinished, and lying aside, staring at me daily. So I gotta fess up! I am really insecure with my art, and it makes me extremely self-conscious, and critical of myself. I worry "Will she like it? Have I done a good enough job?" and it scares me out of finishing it. I respect your artistic abilities so much, and it worries me that I can't fit your standards (even though the most likely option is that it doesn't fit MY standards, and I'm probably being utterly ridiculous!), and I want everything to be PERFECT.

I'm probably just being ridiculous. I hope to make it up to you this Christmas. Really, I do.



New job is going well, though I severely lack hours. I'm learning new stuff every day, and I hope they will keep me beyond seasonal. I feel like I have a fighting chance. I don't want to be confident, though, because I'd hate to set myself up for disappointment.

Money is tight. What's new?

I really need glasses. I really hope someone in my family just gives me money for Christmas so that I can get some glasses and learn to drive. I need to get my life straight and stop fucking around doing things that won't benefit me.

I really hate when people get me clothes for Christmas. Well, my family, that is. I like to dress in an androgynous fashion, really. Every year, they get me clothes that try to reinforce my feminine side. I have some feminine clothing, but... I mean, when they get me clothes, I might wear the pieces once. And that's it. I don't think they understand that I don't like to look like a lady. I really think that women's clothing is unflattering on my body. I know they try their best to fit my tastes, but they're always kind of headed in the wrong direction. Regardless, I'm just glad to spend holidays with my family. We don't get together so much anymore.


Okay, I think I'm done. When I sat down to force myself to post something, a lot more came to mind than I thought, haha.